Say something about gay babies.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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