Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
