I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
