I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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