I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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