PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
