WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
