i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
