susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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