I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This baby is an asshole
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize