Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
