angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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