wanna go halves on a baby?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
