and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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