If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
