how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
