Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
