Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dick very happy bro
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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