I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
