brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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