I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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