i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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