hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
