I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
