peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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