I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
ok first of all what the fuck
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
