Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
