Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
