She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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