dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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