i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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