I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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