The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
