billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize