just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
