So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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