STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
