HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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