So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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