Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We had sex on a dog bed..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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