So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
