if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You made out with two different species that night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
