I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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