I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
