i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
