'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
