This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
