Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
