this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
