You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i believe in u and ur pee
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
