Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
