So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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