I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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