I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
