: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
