i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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