i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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