Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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