are you so shy because you have an std?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night