I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret