2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i've created a new STD.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
