Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
