I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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