scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
