Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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