My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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