I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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