I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
