are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
