Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
