Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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