The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
