Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
